🤝 Parents’ Evening: 10 Questions to Ask (and Which to Avoid)

Tiny school chairs, knees sticking out, ten minutes on the clock: parents’ evenings always seem to fly by. You leave with a ‘doing fine’ or a ‘he’s a bit dreamy’… and not much else. Yet this meeting is valuable. With the right questions, you’ll get in just a few minutes what the teacher sees all day, plus clear ideas for supporting your child at home.

Here’s how to prepare, the 10 most useful questions, which ones to avoid, and what to do the next day.

Parents’ evening or one-to-one meeting: what’s the difference?

At both primary and collège, the guidelines provide for at least two meetings per year and per class between parents and teachers (article D111-2 of the Code de l'éducation). The format varies from one school to another. In practice, you’ll mostly come across:

• The whole-class meeting at the start of the year: the teacher presents the curriculum, class rules, homework, the communication book or online portal. This isn’t the time to discuss your child individually.
• The one-to-one meeting: a face-to-face chat, often in the first term or when reports come out. This is when your questions really matter.
• At collège, the parents’ evening: you meet several teachers, just a few minutes with each. Aim for the main teacher and one or two key subjects.

You can also request a meeting at any time during the year, via the communication book or the school’s messaging system. There’s no need to wait for a problem to get bigger.

How to prepare for parents’ evening in 10 minutes

No need to arrive with pages of notes. A small card prepared the night before is enough:

1. Ask your child: “What’s easy for you at school? And what’s tricky? Is there anything you want me to tell your teacher?” Their answers often surprise you.
2. Look through their books: note one thing they’ve done well and one clear difficulty, like a well-done dictation or subtraction sums that are often wrong.
3. Pick a maximum of 3 questions from the list below. Time is short: three good answers are better than ten rushed ones.
4. Note down any useful information to share: a house move, a new baby, sleep issues, speech therapy. The teacher can’t guess what’s happening at home.

The 10 questions to ask the teacher

They’re grouped by theme. Pick according to your child and the time of year.

About learning

1. “What is he/she doing well at the moment?” Starting with something positive puts everyone at ease and gives you something to praise your child for that evening.
2. “What’s the one thing he/she is struggling with most?” Ask for one specific point: “moving to the next ten” is more helpful than “maths”.
3. “What do you expect from him/her by the end of term?” You’ll know what really matters in class this year.

About behaviour and independence

4. “How does he/she get on in groups and at playtime?” Friendships and small conflicts have a big impact on how children feel about school.
5. “Is he/she independent when it’s time to work?” Starting tasks alone, finishing instructions, tidying up: these are skills you can practise at home.
6. “Does he/she join in during class discussions?” A quiet child isn’t necessarily struggling, but it’s good to know.

About homework

7. “How long should homework take?” If it takes much longer at home, let the teacher know: it’s useful information.
8. “How would you like us to help: correct, check, or let them do it alone?” Every teacher has their own way; being consistent avoids mixed messages.
9. “What could we do for 10 minutes a day that would really help?” This is often the most valuable question of the whole meeting.

Looking ahead

10. “How can we keep in touch, and when will we check in again?” Communication book, messages, next meeting: try to leave with a date, even if it’s just approximate.

Questions to avoid (and what to say instead)

Some phrases close down the conversation rather than open it up. It’s not a disaster if you slip up, but here’s how to rephrase them:

If you disagree on something, save it for a private meeting in a calm setting, rather than raising it in front of other parents.

After the meeting: turn advice into routine

The real work starts the next day. Three simple steps:

• Tell your child about the meeting, starting with the positives. “Your teacher said you listen really well to stories.” Then just one thing to work on: “Let’s practise reading aloud together.”
• Stick to one goal at a time for a few weeks. Trying to tackle two or three things at once is the best way to finish none of them.
• Set up a short, regular slot: 10 to 15 minutes at the same time each day. Our homework routine guide from CP to CM2 helps you find the right rhythm for your child’s year.

To fill this little slot without any prep, the Kidibook adventure offers a printable workbook every day, tailored to your child’s class. You can start by trying the free workbook. And if the meeting highlighted a memory issue (tables, grammar rules, tricky words), the Memory Tricks give a visual tip for each topic.

In summary

A successful parent-teacher meeting has three parts: prepare 3 questions with your child, listen and start with the positives, leave with one goal and a date. The rest happens at home, ten minutes at a time. You and the teacher want the same thing: for your child to make progress and enjoy learning. So work as a team.